maryjane!

so Monday was 420, the only holiday meant just for stoners. I had to celebrate, of course. it was quite an eventful day, actually. I was at my friend Heather's sunday night and when the clock turned we started toking. we smoked until about 2 and then passed out. when I woke up I had to go work for my aunt, so I had to get up pretty early. as soon as she paid me I was gone though. haha. I went over to Stephany's and we waited for Jen to bring us some herb. Just as we finished smoking a j with her our friends Magen and Chris showed up. Jen had to leave though...

so we sat in Stephany's Kia and smoked a couple bowls and made a 420 special for our webshow. although this was fun we thought since this is what we do everyday, we should kick it up a notch. and so we did. we got some wine and some beer and some pizza and we sat and watched She's All That.

Magen had to go first, then Chris. once they were gone Steph and I took some more footage for our webshow. luckily we finished shooting just before 420 was over. we worked on the episode til we got about half way through, and then we went to the 24 hour Kroger down the street to get some pie.

and that was my 420 experience. I will post the episode within the hour for you all to watch.

 

 

peaceoutxxx

I went to Stephany's house last night, which is not uncommon, just to chill. I figured we'd sit in the sun and smoke a few bowls. Belen was going to come over later and we were all going to make soup. that sounded like a really fun evening to me. but of course this was not going to happen. Belen is pretty popular. she has a shit ton of friends who all want to hang out with her all the time. for a lot of people it was the last night of sping break, and they all wanted to do something. so naturally they all gathered at Steph's house. it was crazy. people were literally just coming out of nowhere.

a lot of them were people I hadn't seen in awhile and that was kinda... Idk. one of them was an ex bf of mine. it wasn't a long relationship, and it was a long time ago so that wasn't really a big deal. in fact, I had forgtten we even dated until he said something about it a few months ago. I like him, he's actually pretty cool. kind of a dick though...

when he saw me he openly laughed at me, which I respect him for. being laughed at by someone in person is a lot less painful than snickering behind people's backs. they think you can't see them, that you don't know exactly what they're doing. they don't have the courage to say it to your face so they do the next best thing. anyway....

sorry to get off topic... so anyways, another person that was there was Josh V. now that I think about it... I used to date him too. haha. that was only for like a week though. but I genuinely liked him. he was interesting to say the least. it's too bad nothing came of that... maybe it would have if it weren't for Robert. asshole... lol. but yeah. so we were talking and stuff and he sounded so nice and happy to talk to me. it was one of those look you in the eye convos. the kind that sort of melts your heart and leaves you ungaurded. I really hope to talk to him again.

I don't want to go back out with him or anything. not even sex. I just want to talk to him. maybe make-out a little. hahaha. it's not surprising that I feel that way though. I remember kissing him before quite vividly actually. he was a good kisser, and he tasted... sweet? it's hard to describe but I really liked it. kinda like one of those movie romance kisses. and we all know how fun those are. haha. so to be able to do that again sounds like a really good thing. lol.

so those are the highlights of last night. I could go on, but I don't want to bore you. haha.

 

 

deucesxxx

I can't wait. Obama had better fucking switch. I know there's a lot of talk about it and I'm excited. No more will we have to sacrifice for a simple check up. No more will we have to go without the medication we need, but can't afford. And that's just me and my mom. What about all the people who have no insurance at all? So many people are without the health care they desperately need and meanwhile the corporate fat cat insurance companies make more and more money off this nation's hard working citizens. Where is the justice? Where is the equality? Why should we have to pay $400 a month to be covered and STILL have to pay out of pocket for all things health related? THAT'S NOT FAIR.

So please Mr. Obama, help us. Help us all. We need this more than anything. So for now I'll wait. I'll wait patiently for the day when I can afford the medicine I need. For the day when I can breath easy knowing that if something bad were to happen to any of my friends or family they would be taken care of. And when that day comes do you know what I'll do? I'll march straight into the doctor's office and give them the long list of everything that I find peculiar about my body and demand an explanation for every single one.

so I'm in the process of making a web show. it's called the cannabis chronicles and it's about the stupidly funny shit people say when they're high. it's been slow going trying to get the first episode done but I think it's FINALLY finished. now all I have to do is sit and wait for Stephany to approve it and up on youtube it goes! lol.

I really hope people like/watch it. I've been advertising it for awhile and it would suck if it let everyone down. I want it to get popular so it can win a stoney award from high times magazine. they have a web show category. stoner of the year is my ultimate goal, but we all have to start at the bottom right? lol.

okay well... I'll give you all the link to my show's youtube where you can view a sneek peak (you can also view it here) and maybe subscribe to my channel? check back soon for the first episode. I'm hoping to have it up by tomorrow!

our youtube!

 

 

peace out girl scout

that's how I describe last night. I rolled my fucking nuts off. it wasn't as much fun as the shit we took last weekend but rolls is rolls. haha. we didn't really do shit, just kinda hung around the house. I drank a whole lot of fucking orange juice though. no colds for me any time soon. ha.

savannah and her little friend conner (who is a girl btw) did some with us. they took half a roll. me and heather took ours and their other halves. and we smoked quite a bit of weed. I was just feeling good as a mutherfuck.

listened to guilty pleasure by cobra starship! lol. that was fun. it would have been better if Heather liked the song too, but you can't have everything.

so all in all, I had a great night.

 

 

peacexxx

ps. check out my web show

so my dad fucked up again. I'm not entirely sure what he did this time. he called me the other day to bitch about how something went wrong with his phone and blah blah blah. typical dad drama. but today I find MY phone has been cut off as well as both his and his girlfriends (she's on our plan). idk what to do about this. he doesn't have a home phone. I have no idea how to get in touch with him. I sent him an email, but I know he only checks it once every couple of weeks and I know he checked it like last monday or something...

ARGHH! my one true joy in life is now gone. SO many people have that number. how is anyone supposed to call or text? how am I supposed to tweet? my phone was stolen a little while back and the person erased all the numbers in there and I was counting on people calling ME. what do I do??


outx

my computer. URRGH! that strange noise is the one I make when I am enraged, like now. URRRRGH!!

so I was working on this graphic and it was super awesome and I was SOOO proud of it, and when I ex'd out of a window from my design software it ex'd out of the whole program! all my work is GONE! I know I should have saved as I went but I didn't think that far. I mean I'm high pretty much all the time, how am I supposed to remember that? well I'll tell you this for free, I will never let this happen again.

THIS IS BULLSHIT!




notpeaceoutxx

yup. see, I dropped out of high school and got my GED. don't get me wrong, I don't regret it in the slightest, but... I'm trying to go to college. not all schools care what kind of diploma you have and it was my plan to go to one of those. I didn't want to do anything special, I didn't want to BE anybody, you know? well I can go to a school for free, but the problem is it's an art college. I never had much of an interest in going before. but it's FREE. I know I can't afford college and I REALLY don't want to take out student loans, and I AM artistic, but... I have a very bad track record. haha. on the application they ask if you have ever been suspended or expelled from an educational institution. that would be fine if after they didn't follow up with a nice "you need to send in a paper with the approximate date(s?)" I'm not sure exactly what they want, but if they want all of it then I am FUCKED in the ass. I've got a really long history of trouble making. what am I gonna do if they ask for ALL dates? there's NO FUCKING WAY they'd take me after that. I was suspended like every other week in sophomore year.

now the only shot I have is to score BIG on the ACT. don't get me wrong, standardized tests are kinda my thing, but I've been out of school for like a year now and even when I was IN school I never did shit. I failed half my classes. I never payed attention. now I have to learn four years of high school math in a month. so yeah, I really fucked myself over with this one. I'm not TOO worried because I know I'm smart enough to pull it off, but what does worry me is the fact that I'm lazy as a mutherfuck. and I'm just as forgetful as I am lazy. dangerous combo! throw in a depressive funk and you've got one hell of a train wreck comin at ya.

AHH! WHAT DO I DO???




maryjanexxxxxxx

so I'm looking for some inspiration for new graphics. I'm working on two right now but I'm stuck.

one is a Cobra Starship wallpaper, and the other is a Stephen Colbert banner. Cobra and Colbert need brushes and Colbert needs some stock images. if you know where to get some good ones could you tell me?

also, I want to start a new project but Idk... I was thinking something unicorn. what do you think?

I <3 suggestions/feedback!




peacexxxxxxxxx

I miss her a lot. she moved away not too long ago and it's been hard to deal with. she was my life. we spent all our time together and now I'm all alone. without her I'm just me.

although it's really only been about a week since we had a real conversation, that's a lot for me. we saw each other everyday. I never had to wait to tell her anything. when she left I had a lot more free time. that's where the photo editing and this blog come into play. new hobbies mean less time to think about the sad stuff.

I would feel a lot better if she read this blog, just cuz these are all the thoughts that I would have told her if she were here.

idk... it didn't really bother me much before because I was keeping busy and also cuz I was going through a "manic phase." see I'm bipolar. anyone who has bipolar disorder knows what I'm talking about. I was practically impenetrable. but now I feel the depressive phase rearing it's ugly head again. I hate this part. I'm going to be so depressed and useless for who knows how long. depression always lasts longer. I really don't want to go there again. but there's nothing I can do to stop it. I really really don't want to go there. sigh.

I just miss her, that's all. I'm going to smoke some pot and pass out.




peaceyallx

I know I get like this every time I watch anything apocalypse related, but just cuz I'm not saying anything doesn't mean I'm not still concerned. have you ever seen any of those Nostradamus programs? it's frightening. I don't care what anyone says. something big is about to happen to the world, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. so far my plan of action is to figure out what exactly is coming and then to find a place to go where I can avoid that.

seriously though guys? you should check it out. Nostradamus has been incredibly accurate. he's not the only one who's predicted the end of days for 2012. I wouldn't be as freaked if he were. my guess is one or more of these: plague, flooding, cosmic interference (no I don't mean aliens), and/or nuclear holocaust. well, I guess that pretty much covers all of it... lol. Idk. right now flooding and cosmic interference are looking like the most valid. the former could even just be an effect of the latter. who knows?

I want to go back to church because if the world ends by something other than cosmic interference, I'm pretty sure it's some sort of higher power controlling it. if I pray hard enough maybe my soul will be spared or something. I don't really believe in God, but it's mostly because of all the bull shit that comes along with him. idk if you've ever been forced into a religion, but I can tell you it's enough to make you really mad when think about it. but that's a story for another day.

so I want to go to church but the whole issue is my somewhat hedonistic ways. the whole lifestyle that's sending me to hell is my main reason for not going back. I can't give up weed. or partying. it's too much fun. but that's the whole thing, isn't it? giving in to temptation and indulgence. the devil has taken me and he's keeping me down. or that's what the christians will tell you. lol

enough crazy talk! I swear I'm not insane. just easily moved. lol

at Stephany's bonfire last night. I felt pretty sandbagged because she didn't warn me, but now I'm glad she didn't. if I had known I probably wouldn't have gone. see we had a REALLY bad relationship. he was just a dick. like end of story. he was a dick and a total loser. I have NO idea why I stayed with him for so long. we probably just completely stopped talking like a year ago at this point, but we saw each other in school and heard about each other from friends. then in the summer I moved away and TOTALLY forgot about him. lol. of course coming back meant I had to deal with the same people and that sort of reminded me and blah blah blah.

I've looked at his myspace. you can't tell me you've never scoped out an ex before? curiosity, my friend, is a dangerous thing. so anyway... I had heard stuff about him from time to time and whatever and so I knew his latest girlfriend was a chick named Brittany. I had NO idea how they met. serisously. (I asked Belen about it and she said he sold drugs to her sister.) it's just something I never saw coming.

so I should have guessed he'd be there. I don't know why that didn't occur to me, but oh well. I actually had been hoping for an opportunity like this. it was perfect. I wanted to see him again just to see how he was doing. he was always telling me how he was so much smarter and richer and how he was gonna go places in life and I wouldn't, and I knew it was really gonna be the other way around. that's why I was curious. I'd heard he was still a loser and I wanted to see for myself.

the best way to get to know someone is to watch how they act around other people. if it were just me and him he probably would have lied and made shit up, but around other people you can't do that because they'll call you on your bull shit. PERFECT.

I just sat there the whole time and laughed in my head. (I was pretty high, too. that helped.) it was a HUGE ego boost. I may not be the coolest girl, or the hottest, but I know at least ten guys that would fuck me in a heartbeat. (and I'm talking about attractive guys, not "I would fuck anything" guys.) I've seen the other chicks he's been with... I was the hottest girl he will ever have ever. EVER. hahahahahaha!

it sounds like I'm being arrogant, but if you knew the guy you'd know he deserves this. he really really does. I put up with a lot of his shit for a hell of a lot longer than I should have. my fault, I know. but still. hahahaaha!

(and you can tell him and Brittany don't really like each other. everything between them was so forced and awkward. it was actually kinda depressing to watch... no it wasn't. hahahaa!)

I'm enjoying this too much. sorry guys. has this ever happened to you?




peacexxx

so I just got one. I'd heard about it and stuff, but I had no idea what it was. so as always I HAD to know and I went to my default, wikipedia. did you know it's the third largest social networking site in the world? (after myspace and facebook) so I thought well if it's that popular it might just be the next big thing. I don't think I know anyone who has one but I got it anyway because one day I might need it. college students do that stuff, right?

well, if you have one let me know, okay? maybe we can be friends or whatever. or at least explain it to me. lol





peacexxxxxx

pluto isn't a planet anymore. (what the fuck is that about??)
eight glasses of water is no longer necessary
trl is CANCELED
the SATs are no longer 800+800=1600
blogs are the new newspapers
myspace is SO not what it once was
Bush is no longer president (which is a good change; I just got so used to having him around)
everybody is going viral (I am guilty of this one too. lol)
cell phones are no longer about making calls (seriously, who makes phone calls these days?)
marijuana is on the way out (NOOO! damn you cocaine and ecstasy... jk)
my best friend moved away ='[
my parents are thinking about getting back together and I'm not sure how I feel about it. (I do NOT want to be caught in the middle)
they're making a new star trek movie with the original characters but not the original cast.
lance bass came out of the closet.
Blink 182 is reuniting! (WHOOOOOO!!!!!!)

more later I guess...




peaceoutxxxx

and by Sidekick I mean the cell phone. although, it would be pretty fuckin cool to have the other kind. I don't have super powers, but I would make him wear tights and follow me around anyway just to look for opportunities to pose, like we really did have powers. and who knows? maybe if we went to the right (wrong) side of town, we'd see some crime and get to pose at the criminals. (myspace photo!) maybe someone would begin to hate us enough to become our villain. or maybe that's a bad idea... lol.

but enough about that!
I want one. they're so cool! fuck the iPhone. and I would totaly get one except... (there's always a catch) I have sprint. now you can buy an unlocked phone (that just means they input a code or whatever and all you have to do is put in your SIM card or something and you can use it on whatever network... or something. okay, I'm not too clear on how it all works.) over the internet, but you have to pay out the ass for it. you can either buy an unlocked phone or buy a regular phone and pay to have it unlocked. both are pretty expensive. and let's face it, can we really trust anything on the internet anymore?

the other option I have is to get the phone with T-Mobile and just switch carriers. also a viable option BUUUT (there's always a but) right now I'm on my dad's plan... he's pays my bill because (and it's shameful, I know) I have no job. (not a REAL job anyway.) if I take myself off of his plan that means I'll have to pay for it myself. cell phones are expensive! lol

I have a solid job coming up in like 2 months, but what about after that? in the fall I'll be a poor college student. there's no guarantee that even if I have time for a job I'll be able to find one. then it's either miss payments and get bad credit or break the contact (and pay out the ass again to do it) and be without a phone.


sigh. what's a girl to do?
any advice?


peaceoutxxx

so I just saw a commercial promoting U2's new album. my first thought was "oh my god, these guys again?" (don't get me wrong, I can stand some of their stuff, it's just that I think it's time for them to go away.) but then I heard a snippet of what I guess is their new single, and I gotta say...
if that song even comes close to a Grammy, that's it. I'm officially done with country. GAME OVER AMERICA.


has anyone listened to album?

So I HAD to do laundry today. something you have to understand is we don't have a washer or dryer. we use the one at my complex. I live all the way on the other side of the complex so getting my shit there is quite a schlep. usually I use a car, but today I had no such luck. normally I would wait, but I was desperate. I was at the wearing-bathing-suit-bottoms-as-underwear stage. (don't judge me. we've all been there.)
I decided that I would do it in intervals. I took one load there and when it was time to switch them over I brought another load. altogether there were three loads. and with the last one the only clothes I had left were the ones I was wearing. well, it was a decently cute outfit and I wasn't about to wait until next laundry cycle to wearing them again. my only option at that point was to take some of the already dry clothes and change in the laundry room. you can see where this is going, right?
I kinda ducked behind the row of washers, and idk why but I thought I was safe. lol.the windows in that room are pretty big, and just as I took my shirt off a guy walked by. I know he saw me cuz I saw him see me. I hadn't planned to take my bra off, but it kinda came off in my haste to get the whole thing over with. so this guy got a nice view of my rack. lucky him...
and to make it worse he was standing out there when I came out. I guess he was waiting til I left to go in. that was nice of him... kinda. it was soooo bad. I hope I never see him around...
so I've learned my lesson. NEVER CHANGE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM! haha.


peacexxx

So college is something we all pretty much have to do these days, if we want a good job. I REALLY want to go to baking school, but it's expensive. I'm poor... ='[
I could sell drugs... strip... lol. jk. or am I? who knows?? loans are always a good idea, but Idk how I'll pay them if I'm out of the country. once I get that degree I am SO out of here. sigh...
the thing is, I can go to college for free. one problem though, it's an art school. don't get me wrong, I love art. you know how when you're a kid you always know what you want to do, but it changes like once a week? well I was like that, and most of them revolved around art. I want to do something where I can just create. I thought baking would be PERFECT for me. my mom wants me to try to get accepted at SCAD (the art school), but Idk what I'd do there. I could do graphic designing and shit, but it's hard to travel the world with a career like that. plus, I know what SCAD students are like. they're snobby and pretentious. I really don't want to have to be surrounded by those people for 4 years. but it's free. and a chance to escape this awful place. and will I even get accepted? I think if I get high enough scores on my SATs then I will. I have a feeling I'll get a really good score though. that's just how I roll. lol.
I mean, graphic designing could be fun.

AHHH! WHAT DO I DO???????

so it's official! I've decided to get fairy wings as a tattoo. one problem. I have two SUPER cool designs to choose from. any help??

number one



number two





[not made by me!!]

It seems that lately all conversations I've had with new guy friends have gone exactly the same way. it starts off cool and I'm excited cuz I think I'm about to get a new friend. then a few minutes in the boyfriend question comes up. I have two options at this point, lie and say I do to get him off my back while at the same time I risk losing the friend (cuz let's face it, who really wants to just be friends anymore?), or I can tell the truth and hope that I can discourage him some other way to hold on to the friendship just a little longer. I don't like to lie so usually I take the latter.

and they always throw in something about how good you look. some take the high road and say something sweet like "I couldn't help but notice you" or they can be vulgar like "damn girl, you got a nice ass." they all do it differently. sometimes it's before the boyfriend question, sometimes it's after. the more annoying they are, the more they'll say it too.

so if you say you don't have a bf then they'll ask why not. like it's any of their buisness. so what am I supposed to say to that? it's actually quite hard to choose a good answer. I need to say something that let's it be known that I'm not looking and that I'm not a whore. something like "boyfriends aren't really my thing" makes me sound like I'll sleep with you but making you eggs in the morning isn't happening. saying "I'm not interested in guys" makes me sound like a lesbian. saying "I'm still looking for someone" will make them think you are available and looking for THEM. as if.

now the next part is always different. it all depends on who they are and what you're last answer was. this is the pickup line. it can be "I'll be your boyfriend" or "if you're looking for some fun in the meantime..." and 9 times out of 10 it's something lame. and I gotta say even if they had a shot before, they don't have it now. I always hope it doesn't come to this point but since it has I'm faced with a very tough decision. I can agree to give him a shot thus sealing my fate (which is that he will not leave me alone until I sleep with him), or I can completely turn him down which will make him angry and (although they never notice it) there will be a noticeable sudden lack of interest aka FRIENDSHIP OVER. there is a third option. if he's not the pushy type, or if you want to keep the option open, then you can give a vague maybe-ish sort of answer.

the vague answer is only for guys who won't push it. cuz you can say maybe but there's no guarantee he'll accept that. I HATE PUSHY GUYS!

why don't people go with the flow anymore? why can't we just be chillin somewhere one day and if things happen they happen, if not then I'd like it to not be weird. stop pressuring girls! we don't like it! how about a little respect? despite how MTV portrays us, we are not all drunken whores. what happened to cuddle buddies and make out friends?



maryjanexx